


Ninjago Angst Week 2020

by HerHighnessThePrincess



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Gen, I FAILED TO GET ALL OF THEM DONE RIP, also any and all ships will be very minor, but - Freeform, i cannot stop hurting them, im sorry i love these characters i really do, like normal with me, look at each individual chapter for tws i cannot tag them all, most of this is gonna be sibling dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerHighnessThePrincess/pseuds/HerHighnessThePrincess
Summary: Ninjago Angst Week 2020Chapter 1-PastChapter 2-AloneChapter 3-BleedingChapter 4-HelplessChapter 5-SeparatedChapter 6-SicknessChapter 7-Future
Relationships: Kai & Nya (Ninjago), Lloyd Garmadon & Kai, Nya/Jay Walker, P.I.X.A.L./Zane (Ninjago)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	1. Day 1-Past

**Author's Note:**

> First thing ever written for Ninjago Angst Week. Hope I don't mess it up too badly…
> 
> Self doubt aside, the inspiration for this day came to me as soon as I read the prompt. Mostly because there's an untapped goldmine of potential angst in two characters' backstories. And on how one character in particular probably had to grow up far faster than he should have. I doubt they can actually get into it in the show proper because, y'know, it's meant for children, but if they can't, then I will.
> 
> Trigger warnings for this day: child abandonment, poverty, starvation, arguing, swearing.
> 
> With no further ado…

Kai hated rainy days. It wasn't just that water itself perturbed him-Nya loved it for some reason, she loved the little raindrops and the mud and the puddles, but Kai preferred to stay inside where it was warm and dry, where the fire was-it was simply bad for business. It turned away potential buyers, the local open air markets all closed so he couldn't sell anything, and people often delayed picking up any sold items, and thus  _ paying _ for those items, by at least a day.

All of these would be a problem for any normal business, but for the Four Weapons-

Kai had been trying his best. Really, he had been. But he had known very little about running a business before he was thrust into it after his parents… left. The savings their parents had left (Kai clung onto that with every fiber of his being-if they really hadn't cared about him and Nya, they wouldn't have left them any money) hadn't exactly been  _ endless _ , and when Kai was a five year old left in charge of a three year old, with no idea what to do-

By the age of ten, he had to start learning how to forge weapons. By the age of eleven, he couldn't go to school anymore. By twelve-

He wasn't sure how they were going to eat next month. His parents had paid off the mortgage before leaving,  _ thank FSM _ , and they could get water easily by just putting out buckets whenever it rained. The one good thing that came from a stormy day, he guessed. But they couldn't grow food in Ignacia, with the climate being either far too dry for the ground to have enough water, or far too much water, or simply frozen. Clothes were the other problem, as the two of them had hardly stayed the same size. And Nya had a growth spurt recently, so Kai had to replace all of her clothes-

And he went a  _ tad _ over the budget. It would have been fine, if winter hadn't come in early this year. And if business hadn't taken a sudden downturn for the worse. And if Kai hadn't had his own growth spurt-

Kai sighed, burying his hands in his head. It wouldn't do any good to dwell on what was bad. On what he couldn't change. But ignoring it simply couldn't change the fact that they didn't have enough  _ food _ -

He bashes his head on the counter to rid himself of any bad thoughts, before deciding to close shop for the day. Anybody who wanted to do business would have come by now. He was wasting money by keeping the forge on.

He was midway through putting all of his displayed weapons away and worrying about dinner when a small voice piped up beside him.

"Can I play outside?"

It was Nya. His beloved, adorable little sister who loved playing in the rain for some reason. 

His sister who he hadn't yet told about their shortage in food.

Kai wasn't looking forward to it, to say the least. But at least he could give her small mercies.

"Sure, Nya," he said, placing a samurai helmet on the shelf. "I'll leave the door open for you. Just shake off all the water and mud outside, please."

His sister barely had time to squeak out a "Thank you," before she ran out the door, not even taking the time to put a coat or rain boots on.

Kai sighed, rolling his eyes affectionately. She probably wouldn’t even bother shaking the rain off, but he couldn’t particularly bring himself to care. She was his little sister, after all, and he would do anything for her. 

He tried to repeat that as he went to the kitchen and tried to find the food for a meal. In the cabinets there was plenty so far, but Kai knew it would decrease over the winter. Unless he did something…

There was really only one thing he could do, but he  _ really _ didn’t want to put Nya through it. She was his little sister, she was still growing, he couldn’t ever hurt her like that.

He glanced at the cabinets again, surveying it. Winter in Ignacia lasted about four months, during which he would be less productive and get less business. Around 25% less profits, he had learned from previous years, and he had already built up enough money to buy food and maybe some small items for half of it. If he focused exclusively on getting food, he could stretch that out to two and a half months, and obviously he would keep on working, so if…

It didn’t take a lot of time to come to a conclusion. There was a way to make it through the winter without hurting Nya. It would hurt  _ him _ , but that was okay. He could deal with it. He just had to prevent Nya from finding out, which shouldn’t be that hard.

He may as well start today. With a sigh, he got some bread out from the bridge. But only enough for one person.

\---

It didn’t take Kai long to make a meal for Nya. Toast with butter on it, vegetables, a small amount of chicken, and a glass of milk.

It also didn’t take him long to falsify the evidence that he ate himself. A couple of crumbs on a separate plate and a single pea was all that he needed. Nya wasn’t all that observant, she would readily believe he ate while she was playing outside.

When he was done, he went out to the shop. As expected, Nya hadn’t come back yet, and the door was still slightly ajar. With a grin, he called out to her.

The ten year old shot into the house immediately, trailing water and mud in with her. With a slight grimace, Kai watched her set her dirty coat and shoes on the welcome mat and then bounce over to him. 

“Dinner’s inside,” he said. “I’ve already eaten, so you can get started immediately.”

She frowned. “Why did you eat before me?”

He shrugged. “Hard day’s work, I suppose. Now get inside and eat while I clean this up.”

By the time he was able to mop up all of the mud and the massive puddle she had left behind, his little sister had finished eating and had promptly found another way to bother him.

“Hey Kai,” she whispered in his ear after sneaking up on him, causing him to jump almost a solid foot in the air. “Bedtime story tonight?”

Kai groaned. He  _ really _ wanted to get to sleep already, it was late, he was tired (and maybe a little bit hungry). But he smiled and nodded anyways, and she went up to her room.

Before he followed her, Kai made a quick stop in the kitchen. With quick, quiet movements, he removed his own plate from the dishwasher, brushed the crumbs off, and set it back in the cabinet. Best not to waste any money on setting the dishwasher off too many times.

As he was setting the plate back in the cabinet, Kai’s stomach gave a long, painful growl, and all of a sudden he was far more aware of how hungry he was, of the beginning of tremors in his limbs. He set the dish down hurriedly, and took a couple of seconds to lean against the wall until his stomach stopped making noises.

_ I can do this _ , he thought weakly.  _ I just have to make it through the winter. And Nya will be none the wiser. _

\---

Thankfully, Nya went to sleep easily. He was three chapters into her favorite, a story about knights and princesses and dragons that she would never admit to actually liking, when she fell asleep on his shoulder. With a weary smile, he set her down on the bed and pulled her blanket over her, pushed her stuffed animal into her arms, before retreating to his own bed.

Sleep didn’t come so easily to him. Kai’s mind kept on going over the coming winter, the lack of food, the lack of money, and what he was going to have to do. The growing pain in his stomach only served to accentuate how difficult it would be.

But he had to do it. If he didn’t-

Kai didn’t like thinking over the alternatives. Ignacia had a shit foster care system, and that was probably the  _ best _ option. The other ones involved begging on the streets for money, stealing, or just…. running out of food. Which he had to avoid, at any cost. For Nya’s sake.

With a groan, Kai pressed himself further into the bed, and placed the pillow over his head. Losing sleep wouldn’t do him or Nya any good.

\---

At first, it was easy. Kai was used to rationing already, skipping meals entirely was just a step up. Nya was out of the house most days, either going to school or playing outside. On the days she stayed inside, it was easy to distract her with lies about “needing peace and quiet” or “having a headache” and mentioning later that he had already eaten. He got by on one meal a day, sometimes none, and he was fine about it. The worst part was having to lie to his sister’s face, but even that he could deal with.

But there were things Kai couldn’t lie about. As time went on, it got harder to get out of bed in the mornings. Work was borderline torture, the physical exertion required making it almost impossible to do when he was running on so little energy. Day by day, he managed, but his work was slowly getting worse. He was getting lazy, and that showed in the cash they pulled in. The less cash he pulled in, the less he ate, and so on. An awful cycle.

The worst part was the small pit that he began to feel whenever he looked at Nya. At first, Kai had tried to tell himself that it wasn’t what he thought it was. That it wasn’t some twisted mix of anger, jealousy, and resentment. Because it wasn’t.

But it was. Whenever Kai actually bothered to sit down and think about it, he always came to the same conclusion-he resented his sister for being able to eat. He was  _ angry _ at her for something that  _ he _ had decided to do, and he felt jealousy well up inside of him every time he made a meal for her.

He was aware that this was unfair. That it was simply the result of some awful circumstances. That it wasn’t her fault.

But as he watched her eat every meal, he felt the small knot in his stomach grow. No matter how much he didn’t want it to.

\---

It was a borderline miracle he managed to scrape up enough funds to get Nya something for her birthday. It was pure bad luck she was born smack-dab in the middle of winter, but he had dealt with it quite well up until now. First he had used money from savings, then money from the shop, and then money out of his own pocket.

It had been worth it, though. He almost forgot all the exhaustion and pain when he saw how Nya’s face lit up when he gave her two small presents. The first one was very obviously some kind of stuffed toy (Kai was good at a great many things, but gift wrapping was not one of them) and the other was a hard rectangle. She managed to rip the wrappings off of both within seconds, and was delighted to find a brand new book. She hugged him so tight he could all but feel his ribs cracking (and he was slightly worried she could actually feel them through his thin shirt).

The best part was the dinner he gave her. All Kai had was one slice of toast, but he was able to give Nya a full on meal. Potatoes, chicken, some vegetables, and even a small piece of candy.

The only bad part of the evening came when Nya offered him the candy instead. With a shake of his head, he refused. “It’s your special day, sis. Besides, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth anyways.”

In retrospect, that was probably when Nya began to suspect. At the time, she just furrowed her eyebrows slightly and took the candy for herself.

\---

Kai knew she suspected when they were in the later half of winter. By then, Kai had begun to show the more obvious signs of starvation. He was thin even by Ignacian standards, all of his fat and most of his muscle stripped away. He wore long-sleeved shirts and pants all the time now to hide just how frail he really was, the sharp line of bones evident against his pale skin. He shivered all the time now, the cold weather far harsher on him than it had ever been. He was barely able to work now, spending most of his time by the forge, trying to absorb whatever heat and comfort he could.

It got so bad that he slipped up a couple of times. That he ate when he wasn’t supposed to. He always regretted it whenever he checked how much money they had left, and realized he would have to deprive himself even more.

It was hard. But he had to do it.

Kai wasn’t entirely sure when she really figured it out. It could have been any of the times he stumbled in front of her, any of the times he passed up eating when she did. Any of the times he got unlucky and his stomach rumbled just after he said he was full.

She wasn’t exactly subtle about it. One day he was making dinner for her (and her alone) when he heard quiet footsteps behind him, followed by an equally quiet voice.

“You haven’t been eating, have you?”   
  


He froze for half a second. Probably enough for her to notice. When he lied, it was shaky. “Of course I have.”

He turned around to face her before she spoke again. “No, you haven’t been.”

Kai took a moment to look at his sister. She stood shorter than him by a solid foot despite her growth spurt, small limbs shaking at her sides. Her fists were trembling where they were clenched next to her sides, and the expression on her face was a mixture between anger, sadness, and frustration.

Despite the fact that she was probably far healthier than him, she still looked small to him. Fragile. Helpless. Kai was reminded why he was doing this all of a sudden.

For her. All of this was for her.

Unfortunately, she didn’t seem too happy about it.

“You  _ haven’t _ been eating,” she repeated, her dark brown eyes fixed on him. “And before you try to deny it again, I’ve been watching you all day. You haven’t eaten a single thing. And it’s been like this for a while.”

He glared at her. “So one day where I don’t eat anything for a while on  _ one _ day and you accuse me of starving myself?”

“It hasn’t just  _ been _ one day, though,” Nya hissed. “One day wouldn’t do-it wouldn’t do  _ that _ to you.”

“And what  _ exactly _ is that?” Kai asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “You’re being vague, Nya.”

“You look like a skeleton, Kai,” she said. “You look like you’d fall over at the slightest gust of wind. You look like you’ve been  _ starved _ , Kai.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, I don’t look that bad.”

“Yes you do,” Nya said. “You look  _ awful _ . And that’s not even the worst of it. You’re barely working anymore, you barely talk to me, you barely do  _ anything _ .”

Kai’s hands clenched at his side for a second, anger surging in him. “Oh, so now you’re complaining about me  _ not _ working. You used to complain about me working all the time!”

“That’s not the point!” she said, a similar sort of rage in her tone. “You haven’t been eating! At all! And you  _ lied _ to me about it! For no reason!”

His eyes narrowed, and he bit his lip. He had dreaded this conversation for months now, knowing that he couldn’t just hide his state from her without her noticing, but now that it was here, he had no idea what to say.

So of course, he said a thing he regretted seconds later. “Of course there was a reason! I did it for you!”

“What kind of sense does that make?” Nya yelled, sounding mildly hysterical. “What in Ninjago can  _ starving _ yourself do for me?”

“We don’t have any  _ money _ , Nya,” Kai growled. “We don’t have nearly enough money to afford food for both of us.”

“Why not?” she asked, confusion clear across her face. “Why don’t we have enough money for food?”

“Because I couldn’t-” Kai’s breath broke off harshly, and he tried to take deep lungfuls of air to steady himself. “Because we just  _ don’t _ , Nya. I’m sorry that we don’t have enough money”

There was a long silence between them.

“You couldn’t get enough money, could you?” Nya asked, suddenly sounding very small. “The shop hadn’t been doing good, even I know that.”

Kai blinked away tears at how afraid she sounded. “No, it hasn’t been.” He turned to the side, trying to avoid looking at her. “So I had to resort to… this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“You’re too young for this sort of stuff,” Kai mumbled, suddenly very ashamed of himself. “You’re a kid.”

“So are you!” Nya protested. “You’re barely two years older than me!”   
  


Kai bit back a noise of frustration, rolling his head back to glare at the ceiling. “I’m still older than you, Nya.”

“That doesn’t give you seniority!”

“Yes it does!”

“You can’t just boss me around and hide things from me!”

“Why not? I’m just trying to help-”

“You’re not  _ Dad _ , Kai!”

All of the breath in Kai’s chest went out of him in one solid wheeze. There was dead silence in the kitchen for a moment as both of them processed what she had just said. Nya looked like she was caught between being furious at Kai and being furious at herself, so she just stood where she was, glaring at the ground with her fists clenched at her side. Kai, for his part, didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to respond to  _ that _ ?

As it turned out, Kai didn’t have a proper response. So he just latched onto the emotion he had growing inside of him, which was anger.

“No, you’re right,” Kai hissed, letting his fury boil inside of him. “I’m not  _ Dad _ , or  _ Mom _ , because they’re  _ gone _ . They left us both here without leaving  _ anything _ to help us. And I-” he blinked back tears, wiping them away. “ _ I _ was the one who picked up the pieces. I was the one who hired a babysitter for you until you were old enough to be on your own while I was out, I was the one who gave up going to school so we could pay for things like food and water and clothes-and you’re only  _ now _ realizing that something is wrong?”

Nya took a step back. “Kai-”

“Shut up,” he hissed, too angry to think coherently. “I’ve worked my ass off for you for  _ years _ , and now you’re  _ complaining _ about it? You didn’t seem to care all that much literally every time I stayed up late working, every time I burnt myself, every time you got to play outside while I literally worked myself to exhaustion. You can’t pretend to care now?”

She flinched. “I’m not pretending-”

“Then why  _ now _ ?” Kai yelled. “Why now, instead of literally every other time I’ve sacrificed everything for you?”   
  
“I didn’t notice back then-”   
  
“Oh, so you didn’t  _ notice _ -”

“I’m  _ sorry _ , Kai, is  _ that _ what you want to hear-”

“I deserve a little bit more than that don’t you think-”

“I lost them and went through the same thing you did-”

“No. You. Didn’t!” Kai yelled, fury choking him. “You may have lost them, but I had to  _ deal _ with it, I have to work every day because they’re not here while you play in your stupid puddles-”   
  


He cut himself off, covering his face in his hands and breathing deeply. “You know what. You can go and do that right now. Go and play in your puddles while I actually do things.”

He hadn’t expected Nya to take him up on his offer, nor had he expected her to slam the door quite so hard on her way out. It seemed to shake the whole house, and it made Kai sink to his knees, face still buried in his arms. He bit back bitter tears, trying not to beat himself up mentally too badly.

It wasn’t working.

_ FSM’s sake alive _ , what the hell had he just done? He had just yelled at Nya.  _ Nya _ , his baby sister, the one person who had always been with him, the one person he had always sworn to protect, just because he was  _ angry _ -

But it was a tad worse than that. He hadn’t even been angry at her, not really. No, the real people he was angry at were his parents.

No matter how much he loved them-no matter how much he would  _ always _ love them-he was still  _ so _ angry at them. How could he not be? They were his parents, but they were also the people who left him and Nya to die in a small, backwater town when he was  _ five _ . He had spent the majority of his life without his parents now, most of his life where it was just him and Nya, him and Nya against the world their parents had left them to die in-

Kai choked on a vicious, violent sob, burying his face even deeper into his arms and blocking out the world. Why couldn’t they have just  _ stayed _ ? Or they could have taken him and Nya with them, or  _ something _ , so that they could be together. Now they were gone and Kai was all alone and he couldn’t deal with it.

He had tried his best to deal with it. Really, he had. But there was only so much money a child could make in a shop meant to be run by two adults, there was only so many customers he could make pay, there was only so much he could  _ do _ -

Above everything else, Kai  _ needed _ his parents. He needed them to be here, so he could be a kid again. So he could go to school, make friends, maybe play in the puddles with Nya, maybe  _ eat _ every once in a while-

But that dream had run dry long ago. And all Kai had was himself and Nya.

And maybe he didn’t even have that anymore.

  
  



	2. Day 2-Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Jay’s turn to be hit by the angst stick now. Hope he’s ready for it.
> 
> This was loosely inspired by me realizing that in each of his seasons, Jay ends up being the person to face down the enemy alone. Poor boy needs his friends. But I’m more than willing to capitalize on the angst.
> 
> TW: Abandonment issues

Jay wasn’t sure what triggered his fear of being alone. There were many facets of it that he just didn’t like, from the boredom, to the stillness, to the quiet, just about everything. He wasn’t sure where this particular fear came from, only that the first time he really experienced it was when Ed and Edna first told him they would be back by seven that night, and then they weren’t.

Jay had been eight at the time, and thought he feared nothing. That strange feeling crawling up his spine wasn’t fear, he thought. Nor was the strange twinge in his heart when he could no longer see the trail of dust their car left behind. Or the vague feeling in the back of his throat when he realized how  _ big _ the house was without them.

He had fun all day. He played in the safe piles of junk his dad had dutifully pointed out for him before they left. He made himself lunch and dinner (he just heated up the pre-made food Ed and Edna had left out for him, and to an eight year old that was cooking) and ate it on time. At around six, he settled down and turned on his favorite tv show,  _ Starfarer _ . He let his eyes get a little bit too heavy, and then all of a sudden-

Jay blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up on the couch, vaguely noting that the episode of  _ Starfarer _ he had been on had looked different than the one the tv was currently on. He turned it off with a yawn, and took a couple of seconds to glance around, noticing the drool all over the arm of the couch his head had been on, and how dark it was outside now. The sky had been a bright, clear blue before he started watching the tv.

Jay ignored the small shiver that raced through his body, and glanced at the clock.

It read 9:34.

Jay blinked, before reading it again. Same number.

Had his parents come home and decided not to wake him up?

Jay got up from the couch, plopping down to the ground on his two short legs and walking up to their room. He was hopeful as he ran up the stairs, but-

Their room was empty. Jay’s hand clenched on the door for a second before he closed it again. It was fine. They were probably just… late.

By over two hours.

Yeah, they were definitely just late.

Jay ran out to the sign hanging over the house, climbing up the wall and staring off into the horizon. His vision was limited by the night, but he figured if they were coming back he could at least see their headlights, or a cloud of dust.

There was nothing on the horizon at all. It was flat and dark. Jay swallowed the large lump growing in his throat as best he could, before he sat down on the wall. And waited.

He wasn’t sure how long he was up there before he saw their headlights, only that it was far too long. He kept his eyes locked on the horizon the whole time, searching for any beam of light or cloud of dust.

They didn’t come for quite a while. By the time he saw the first bright light on the horizon, he was shivering so bad he almost fell off the wall. His toes felt like they were frozen when he scrambled down from the wall and started sprinting towards the car.

“Mom! Dad!” he yelled, waving his arms sporadically.

The car halted violently about fifteen feet away from him, and both of the car’s doors opened as his parents got out. 

“Jay!” his dad yelled. “What the-why are you up so  _ late _ ?”

Jay opened his mouth to explain-and promptly burst into tears. He flung himself at his dad, hugging him tight around the middle. He could feel his dad’s shirt getting wet under his face. “Where’d you-why were you gone for so long?”

There was a pause as Jay just sobbed into his dad’s shirt, before he felt his dad hug him back, and then his mom coming in from behind. “Oh, sweetie. How about we get inside before we explain?”

Jay nodded, giving a wet sniffle. It didn’t take long for his parents to get him inside, a blanket around him and a warm cup of hot chocolate stuffed into his hands. He clung onto it as let the warmth seep into his shaking hands. Already he was beginning to feel a bit embarrassed at how he had behaved, but that hardly stopped him from setting his hot chocolate down and hugging his mom tight when she sat down.

She laughed softly. “Alright, alright, Jay. You’re happy to see us again, we get it. But why are you so upset?”

He sniffled into his mom’s side. “I dunno.”

“You don’t know why you’re upset?”

Jay felt a small flush rise in his cheeks as he said, “No. I just… am upset, I guess.”

He felt his father settle down on his other side, warm arms wrapping him up in a hug. “When did you get upset?”

Jay leaned into the hug a fraction, letting a small smile stretch across his face. “W-well, I went for a nap, and then I woke up at 9, and you weren’t home, so… I th-thought that something happened…”

He could feel his parents glancing at each other and trying to decide how much to tell him, even if he couldn’t see it. Eventually he heard his dad audibly gulp, and then say, “Well, honey, we did get into a bit of an accident on the road today.”

Jay’s head shot up so fast he almost hit Edna’s chin. “ _ What _ ?”

His dad winced visibly. “It wasn’t all that bad, I swear, but the guy was threatening to sue us and-ugh, you don’t need to know all the details. But the point is, we were delayed and not hurt.”

“You promise?” Jay asked, not quite sure he believed them.

His dad laughed. “Promise. Not a scratch on us!”

Jay smiled weakly, but still hugged his dad tight all the same. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds, until Jay got worried again.

“You’re not going to leave me alone again, are you?” he asked, anxiety swirling within him at the idea. “I-I don’t wanna be home alone again.”

He blushed violently after saying that, blood rushing to his cheeks. “I-I mean, I’m not  _ scared _ or anything, but-”

He was cut off by his dad hugging him tight. “It’s okay, honey, we don’t want to leave you alone for this long either. How about the next time we go out to the city, you come with us?”

Jay brightened up considerably at that. “Seriously? You mean it?”

“Yup!” his dad said, expression bright. “You’re old enough now to go on a day trip with us.”

Jay grinned at him, finally able to banish the last of the fear from his mind. “Alright!”

“And, you know what, son? Even if you were afraid of being home alone, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Jay flushed all the way down to his neck as his parents laughed at him. “Okay, I get it. Can we go to bed now?”

Later, as he lay in his bed, Jay stared up at the ceiling, and tried to tell himself that he wasn’t afraid of being alone. Because he  _ wasn’t _ .

Only children were afraid of being alone.

\---

Years later, Jay would learn that he was, very definitively, afraid of being alone. But that wasn’t exactly it. He was afraid of people  _ leaving _ , or, in this case, being taken away.

See, his family had expanded rapidly in the years following that night. First it was Cole and Zane, his first two real friends, and Sensei Wu, the strange old man who took him in and first told him he was something special, no matter how absurd he sounded. Then it was Kai and Nya, the boy who he initially didn’t like who he then realized could potentially be his best friend in the entire world, and the girl who he fell in love with immediately. Finally it was Lloyd, first a bratty kid and then a bratty teen, the little brother of the whole group. 

And he had  _ almost _ lost them so many times. He had thought Kai and Lloyd were incinerated by the volcano, they almost lost Zane to the Great Devourer-hell, all of them almost died to the Great Devourer-but in the end, everyone made it out.

There were some moments when he thought that he had lost one of them permanently. When Wu had been swallowed by the Great Devourer, his heart stopped in his chest. When Zane had been “killed” by the Overlord, he had  _ screamed _ . But it never lasted. All of them made it out this time.

And they  _ would _ make it out this time, he told himself ferociously as he prepared a plan to rescue the others from the clutches of Nadakhan. He  _ would _ rescue Nya-he would rescue  _ all _ of them, and he would do it before it was too late. It didn’t matter that he was the last one left, it didn’t matter that he was  _ alone _ -

Jay bit back a curse as he thought about the situation they were in, the hopelessness of it all overwhelming him. His dad had told him to keep going, but that would be so much  _ easier _ if-if anyone-

But all of them were gone. First it had just been Kai captured by the djinn, and that was bad enough-but then it was Zane, and everyone was mad at him after that-and then it was Cole and Lloyd, and then  _ Nya _ -

Jay bit his lip until it bled, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He would rescue her from that djinn, from the stupid marriage, and-and he would make everything right. And then maybe they would forgive him for getting them into this stupid mess in the first place.

_ But maybe they wouldn’t _ , the traitorous little voice whispered inside his head.  _ Maybe you screwed up too bad this time, Walker. Maybe they’ll all leave you even after you rescue them. Maybe you’ll end up  _ **_alone_ ** _ again- _

Jay sank down to his knees, trembling hard. They  _ wouldn’t _ , he told himself. They had been a  _ little _ angry, sure, and maybe they were more angry now, and Nya was probably  _ furious _ , but he could make it up to them if he went after Nadakhan and saved them all.

And then he wouldn’t be alone again.

\---

In the end, he did manage to defeat Nadakhan and rescue everyone, even if only Jay and Nya remembered. And then they defeated threat after threat again, despite how many times they  _ almost _ died, despite how many times Jay  _ almost _ lost his entire family, they always pulled through.

Right up until Jay had got himself stuck inside a video game. And then they had all been fighting for their lives because of Jay’s  _ stupid _ decision, with Zane stuck on the outside, and then Kai and Cole had died, and then Lloyd, and then-

The love of his life was nothing more than a cube made of digital pixels on the floor, and Jay was alone. Again. 

He tried to tell himself that it was just like Nadakhan. That he may have been caught on his back foot without his team, but he would pick himself up again. That he would defeat Unagami, and get his friends back.

But he didn’t even know if he  _ could _ . They weren’t just  _ trapped _ this time, whether in a stupid sword or a stupid marriage, they were  _ dead _ . Pixelated, gone, lost, there were too many words for it that meant that they weren’t coming back.

And he didn’t even know where Zane  _ was _ -

Jay took in a deep breath from where he was curled up against the ground, and stood up. He could do this. He  _ could _ do this. If he didn’t, then they definitely weren’t coming back.

But as he faced Unagami, he couldn’t get the vague thought out of his head that told him that even if he won, he may not get his family back. 

That he could be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhhh, abandonment issues. Always a fun one to play around with. Next up it’s Zane’s turn.


	3. Day 3-Bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Zane’s turn to be angsted. I always did wonder how a robot deals with blood.
> 
> TW: Manipulation.

Zane wasn’t sure when he realized just how different he was from his father. His father was the only other person he knew, but there were many differences between them that Zane overlooked. His father looked considerably older than him, with wrinkles all over his skin, but youthfulness shining out of him every other way. His eyes lit up with excitement when talking about anything to do with his latest project,and in the house he rushed around with a spring in his step that would befit a younger man far more than one of his age. 

By contrast, Zane was far more…  _ stiff _ than his father. He rarely showed his emotions like his father did, being more inclined to smile faintly than grin broadly like his dad did. The way he walked was far more clunky than his dad’s graceful steps. They were different in so many other ways, too.

But Zane never gave it much thought. From what his father had told him, every person was different. Some more so than others. 

The only time he ever gave it much thought was the day he had an accident while chopping some wood. Winter was coming on, they needed plenty for the fireplace-it was a routine Zane was well used to by now. And it should have occurred like normal, but Zane had gotten distracted due to a bird flying overhead, his aim with the axe had went a little wild, and he managed to gouge off two inches of his skin.

It hurt, but it hurt less than Zane would have thought. It was more of a dull ache than any sharp pain, but it still alarmed him enough to set the axe down and survey his wounds. About two inches deep into his skin, but no blood. None whatsoever. His skin hadn’t even changed color, remaining the same pale pink that he had always had.

Zane frowned. So far as he was aware, with a wound like this, blood would be everywhere. His father had once injured himself like this, and Zane had to clear blood off of multiple surfaces due to how much he had bled.

No matter how curious his wound was, Zane knew he had to get it treated, before he did start to bleed, or the wound got infected. He turned to head back inside.

His father, as always, fretted over him. He was made to lay down on the hospital cot his father had installed (for some reason) in his room, and then his father did something odd.

He placed a blindfold over Zane’s eyes.

“Father?” he questioned, unable to keep the slight nervousness out of his voice. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing much, Zane,” was all his father said, setting a reassuring hand on his cheek. “I just need to put you to sleep so I can repair the damage.”

Zane blinked under the blindfold. “Repair?”

There was a pause for a couple of seconds before his dad said, “You know, heal. Mend. That sort of thing.”

His father had an odd tone in his voice. He sounded almost tense. Zane was about to ask another question about his father’s choice in words, before he felt a hand on his stomach. 

“Stay still, Zane,” his father said. “I need to do a couple of things to put you to sleep. Are you alright with that?”

Zane squirmed on the bed, but nodded. He felt his father doing…  _ something _ with his chest. He couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it almost felt like his father was  _ fiddling _ with something, as absurd as that sounded. Zane was just about to question him again, but then-

There was a noise which sounded much like the flipping of a switch, and then Zane’s world went dark.

\---

It was sometime before Zane came to. The blindfold had been removed by the time he had, and, as far as he could tell, his father had done all he needed to. There was no visible sign of the injury on his arm.

“Father?” he called out of his room. “Are you there?”   
  
“Coming, Zane!” his dad yelled back. “I’ll be there in a couple of seconds.”

Zane stared at his arm while he waited for his father. Normally he would expect some sort of scar, a fairly visible one in this case, but-

There was nothing but clear, pale skin. No sign of damage at all.

Zane heard the noise of his father coming up the stairs, and turned to face him. His dad was now leaning against the door, staring at his arm the same as Zane was. 

“Dad?” Zane asked. “How did you heal my arm so quickly?”

His dad laughed at that, but it sounded nervous. “It wasn’t quickly, Zane. It took several hours to heal you.”

There was a lot of emphasis on the word “heal”. Zane couldn’t help but notice it.

“Why didn’t it bleed?”   
  


His father perked an eyebrow. “What?”

“My wound,” Zane clarified, looking at him. “It didn’t bleed when I got it. I thought they were supposed to do that.”   
  


He stared at his father intently when he answered. “Well, Zane, every wound is different. Every human is different, too. I suppose you just have literally thick skin.”   
  


“The axe went into my skin about two inches,” Zane said, confused. “That isn’t just thick skin.”

His dad shrugged. “Guess you’re just lucky, I suppose.”

Zane stared at his dad. Everything about his dad’s posture was the way it normally was, but-

His dad seemed tense. Nervous. For whatever reason, Zane couldn’t quite believe him.

“Alright,” he said cautiously. “I suppose I’m just lucky.”   
  
They ate dinner that day in silence. While Zane ate, he couldn’t help but notice that his dad was glancing at him from across the table.

Going to bed was likewise just as quiet. Zane heard nothing as he got into bed and slowly began to doze off.

But just as he fell asleep, he heard the sound of his bedroom door opening ever so slightly.

\---

When Zane woke up, there was no trace of his wound, nor of any memory to go with it. He was slightly confused about apparently having slept through an entire day, but he managed to dismiss it. He was just tired, he supposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Lloyd and Morro angst. I’m gonna have fun with that one.


	4. Day 4- Helpless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season five is always good for Lloyd angst/whump. That being said, I’ve never seen anyone cover the moments between Lloyd’s initial possession and the attack on Wu’s tea shop. So I’m going to do that.
> 
> TW: Emotional and psychological abuse, threats.

Lloyd hadn’t been having a good day so far. He had a bad nights sleep, spent all day attempting to catch a dumb fish, he had narrowly escaped being forced to advertise for Wu’s new tea shop with the rest of the guys, and now-

He was fighting a literal shadow. A shadow which had just decided to possess a gigantic golden statue of Skales.

If he got out of here alive, he was making someone else take calls specifically for the Green Ninja.

The statue creaked and groaned as it twisted, the mouth being forced open by the shadow’s will. “ _ Your powers are useless!” _ it taunted. “ _ You think you can hurt a ghost? I can possess anything! _ ”

Lloyd attempted to leap back as the statue moved rapidly, but the tail wrapped itself around his chest anyway, lifting him up and beginning to squeeze. He thrashed helplessly against his binds as the shadow left the statue, swiftly floating over to the pile of sand and forcing it to take the shape of a person. The night watchman was rambling in the background, something about the world being cursed, whatever that meant, but Lloyd was more focused on getting out.

“You’re a ghost from the Cursed Realm,” Lloyd realized. “But how did you escape?”

“ _ When your father opened the door, he should’ve been more careful what came out _ ,” the ghost said, now floating several feet in the air.

Lloyd let out a startled yell as the pile of sand rushed towards him, the form of the person dissolving so it was more like a tornado with Lloyd in the center of it. Lloyd choked on the air, trying to get the bitter taste of sand grains out of his mouth while he tried to think.

“Hurry!” he yelled at the night watchman. “The Allied Armor, give it to me!”

The night watchman, to his credit, immediately ran for the armor, grabbed it, and then ran towards Lloyd. Despite the minor storm swirling around him, Lloyd was able to grab the armor, and he pressed it onto his chest in a desperate attempt to put it on.

Then the winds picked up pace. Lloyd was forced to cover his face to protect it from the sand which now grated against his skin, and the next thing he knew he was being thrown across the room, landing in front of the night watchman with a pained grunt. The night watchman yelled something, but Lloyd had already turned around to see the ghost, now in the shape of a man again, with the Allied Armor on.

“You can’t have the armor!” Lloyd yelled, hoping to distract him long enough to prevent him from using the armor.

“ _ The armor’s nice, but it’s not the only thing I want to possess _ ,” the ghost growled, leering down at Lloyd.

“What else do you want?” Lloyd asked, feeling a cold chill go down his spine.

“ _ You! _ ” the ghost yelled, diving at him.

Both Lloyd and the night watchman turned and ran, but Lloyd’s foot hit a piece of wood from one of the boxes, he fell, and-

The shadow passed into him, and Lloyd fell limp. For a couple of seconds he just panicked, unable to move any muscle in his body. His face was pressed uncomfortably into the ground, heart racing from his desperate attempt at escape, and he was trying to breathe to get himself to calm down, but he  _ couldn’t _ -

Then his body stood up. His body, which he wasn’t moving himself, because he couldn’t move but it was moving all the same-

“ _ Hmm _ ,” he heard himself say, in a voice that wasn’t his. “ _ You’re a tad younger than I thought you would be,  _ **_Lloyd_ ** .”

His desperation growing, Lloyd fought against the ghost’s control over him. It was like shoving against a brick wall. He pushed and pulled and  _ screamed _ inside his head, but his body didn’t move. 

“ _ You’re being awfully loud in there _ ,” the ghost purred. “ _ I suppose I’m going to have to find a way to shut you up _ .”

Lloyd paused for a moment as he realized what the other boy had said.  _ Shut me up how? _

His body laughed-a high-pitched, cold laugh. “ _ Oh, everyone has secrets that I can use _ .”

Lloyd jerked-or he would have jerked, at least, as he felt searing pain inside his head. It felt like his skull was being pried open, like his brain was being pulled out-it  _ hurt _ , it hurt so much he could feel tears beginning to form in his eyes despite the lack of control over his body.

The worst bit was the ghost didn’t even react. He just continued to probe into Lloyd’s head, ignoring Lloyd screaming inside his head.

And then it was over. But it wasn’t better. Lloyd could  _ feel _ the ghost inside his head now,  _ looking _ at him-he could see everything inside of Lloyd’s brain now.

“ _ So  _ **_this_ ** _ is who he picked to be the Green Ninja? _ ” the ghost scoffed. “ _ You’re  _ **_pathetic_ ** .”

Lloyd flinched at his tone of voice. Normally he would be fine, but he still remembered the way Kai spoke to him in Chen’s chamber, it was so recent-

“ _ Kai? _ ”

Lloyd attempted to scream again as he felt the ghost go probing into his head again, bringing memories of Kai to the forefront-the volcano, Kai saving his life countless times, them climbing up the tower to the Overlord together, the chamber, every single emotion going through him as Kai blamed him-

“ _ Oh, I  _ **_see_ ** _ , _ ” the ghost said, finally stopping his search through Lloyd’s head. “ _ It appears I’m not the only one with a certain  _ **_contempt_ ** _ for who got chosen. _ ”

_ Shut up _ , Lloyd thought.  _ Kai hadn’t-he wasn’t in his right mind when he said those things-it was Chen’s staff- _

“ _ Oh yes, I’m sure Kai told you all about how it was only this ‘Chen’s staff’ that made him attack you _ ,” the ghost said. “ _ Probably just trying to keep the rest of your little group from kicking him out _ .”

Lloyd bristled at that. Kai had been guilty for  _ weeks _ , avoiding Lloyd, acting like everything up to and including his dad’s  _ death _ was his fault because he failed to stop Chen in time-

“ _ Oh? So Garmadon finally kicked it? Figured it was only a matter of time before one of them dropped dead of old age. Or- _ ”

Lloyd felt the prying sensation again, and stifled the urge to scream. More memories came back-his dad, the Overlord, his dad being his sensei and protecting Lloyd-

His dad, sent to the Cursed Realm at Lloyd’s own  _ hand _ -

He was brought out of his memories harshly by violent laughter, his body bent over as the ghost laughed his mind out.

“ _ Oh that is just  _ **_delicious_ ** ,” the ghost said. “ _ Ninjago’s greatest protector, forced to sacrifice his own  _ **_father_ ** _ for the greater good because he  _ **_failed_ ** -”

_ Shut up! _ Lloyd screamed.  _ You don’t know  _ **_anything_ ** _ about that-you didn’t even know him- _

“ _ Oh, but I did _ ,” the ghost said. “ _ I knew your father. I also knew your uncle. Very well, in fact. You see, I was a student of his. _ ”

Lloyd paused.  _ What? _

The ghost gave a deep, raspy laugh. “ _ Dear old Uncle Wu never mentioned me, did he? _ ”

Lloyd didn’t respond. But the ghost seemed to know his answer anyways.

“ _ I see Wu hasn’t stopped lying to his students in the time since I was alive _ ,” the ghost said, bitterness tainting his words. “ _ And as always, it has backfired _ . _ On him, his students, and the rest of Ninjago. _ ”

Lloyd would have blinked in surprise if he could.  _ What do you mean, the rest of Ninjago _ ?

A short chuckle escaped his-the ghost’s lips. “ _ Oh, I didn’t just come to Ninjago for no reason. I’m about to make it a whole lot more like my own realm. _ ”

_ You won’t succeed _ , Lloyd thought.  _ I’ll-my friends will stop you _ .

“ _ Oh will they now?” _ the ghost asked, finally beginning to move. He started to walk towards the doors the night watchman had left open in his hurry to get out, even as Lloyd fought him every step of the way. “ _ They might be a bit reluctant to hurt this body, after all. You’re one of their  _ **_friends_ ** _. _ ”

_ They’ll stop you _ -

“ _ They will  _ **_try_ ** _ ,” _ the ghost clarified. “ _ And they will fail. And they will die. Unless _ -”

The ghost paused in the hallway, leaning against the wall. Lloyd felt a slight pang of pain as the ghost rested on his injured back.

_ Unless what? _ Lloyd asked, not liking the other one’s silence. He didn’t think he could gain full control of his body back for a while, but a couple of seconds would be enough to tell the others all that he knew. If he could just-

A sharp pain went through his head, and he heard the ghost tutting softly. 

“ _ Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd _ .” He sounded almost disappointed. “ _ You won’t be getting control of this body back. But I am willing to strike a deal with you _ .”

Lloyd, still reeling from the pain in his head, hazily asked,  _ What? _

“ _ A deal, _ ” the ghost said pleasantly. “ _ You will comply with my plan, and your friends will be spared when Ninjago falls. Wu, too, even if I would prefer that old scumbag rot in hell where he belongs. What do you say? _ ”

_ What happens if I don’t agree with your deal? _ Lloyd asked.

He could feel his own lips curl into a malicious grin. “ _ Well, I kill them, of course. _ ”

Lloyd froze as the ghost continued to speak. “ _ Slowly. I would cut my way through them, each of them dying at your hand while you are unable to stop it. I wouldn’t make it pleasant.” _

Lloyd’s voice was horrified when he next spoke.  _ You wouldn’t. They wouldn’t let you. _

“ _ They wouldn’t have a choice. It would either be their own life, or their little brother’s life. You know it would be an easy choice for all of them. They’d rather watch all of Ninjago fall and die themselves, before they would lay a hand on you. _ ”

The ghost’s words were harsh. But they were true.

All of the ninja-his brothers and his sister-they would rather  _ die _ than hurt Lloyd. And Lloyd would rather die than hurt them.

“ _ So either you take my deal, and they live at the very least-maybe even prosper in the new world-or they die at your hand. Either way Ninjago falls, but you have an option to stop your family from dying at your hands like your father did. Or would you prefer to vainly hope that everything will turn out alright, and I’ll take great joy in killing them while you scream, trapped in your head, unable to stop them from being hurt.” _

Lloyd was silent for a long time. While he tried to think of some way out of this deal, he could feel the ghost’s arrogance. His confidence that Lloyd would take the deal, and sacrifice his own honor and body for his family.

The scary part was, Lloyd was almost sure he was right. The ninja would do everything for him-Kai and Nya especially, even if she wasn’t technically part of the ninja-but Lloyd would do even more for them. Including giving up his own life to save theirs. And he was about to agree to the deal, but then Lloyd realized something.

_ I can’t trust you _ , he thought flatly.  _ I can’t believe that you would just let them go when we both know they will never stop fighting for me, and for Ninjago. _

There was a pause. A very long pause. During which Lloyd felt the ghost go from arrogant, to furious, to an eerie calm.

“ _ Fine _ ,” the ghost said. “ _ I’ll kill them in that case _ .”

Instantly Lloyd strained against the ghost’s control once more, throwing himself at the mental wall with as much force as he possibly could. At the very least, even if he couldn’t protect Kai and Nya and all the others, he could distract the ghost. He could distract the ghost for long enough for them to find a way to get the ghost out of Lloyd’s body, or until-

Until they got a lucky, or unlucky shot in.

Either way Lloyd was not letting this ghost hurt anyone else.

But despite his best efforts, despite how much Lloyd fought and screamed and thrashed, the ghost hardly seemed phased. Even when he faced the ninja back at Wu’s tea shop, he couldn’t get control for more than a few seconds.

And Lloyd, in the back of his mind, began to feel that maybe he couldn’t stop Morro from hurting them, no matter what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am just minutes late with posting this. Eh, I tried my best.
> 
> Season eight angst with Nya up next.


	5. Day 5- Separated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This piece is essentially just Nya’s reaction to the end of season eight, which we never got to see in the show T-T which I will be forever salty about. She had to figure out somehow. And that reaction couldn’t have been pretty.
> 
> This is also me crying about the Smith Sibs again, because I do that. A lot. Except this time, it’s just one sibling. Trying to deal with the loss of the other.
> 
> TW: Fake major character death, grieving, swearing, violence.

Nya was having quite possibly the worst week ever. Her search for Wu had turned up nothing but some soldiers bullying the poor townsfolk in the area that she visited, she and the guys had miserably failed to protect the royal family, her little brother’s first kinda-sorta-maybe girlfriend turned out to be evil, Ninjago was in danger (again) due to Lloyd’s dad being evil ( _ again _ ), and now she had no idea where anyone was while the city collapsed around her.

“Kai?” she yelled into the transponder. “Lloyd? Does anyone copy?”

_ Again _ , like all the other times she had called, no one checked in. Nya bit her lip as she forced the boat closer towards the Colossus with her powers, body far too tired to find another way to get her and Misako to Lloyd’s location. Every part of her ached from her fight with Garmadon, a fight which she had  _ lost _ , so Garmadon now had free control over the Colossus without anyone to distract him.

And, although she wouldn’t admit it, she was worried about that. None of her brothers had been able to land a solid blow on the thing, judging by how it still roamed around freely without a visible scratch on it. And her fifth brother didn’t even have his powers to defend himself.

Cursing herself for letting Garmadon escape so easily, Nya searched the sky again. No sign of the Bounty, which at least one of the ninja should be on, no sign of her brothers fighting the Colossus. No sign of Lloyd.

She glared at the sky again, almost as if it could give her some answers-before her eyes refocused on something. A small dot was falling from the sky, growing larger by the second. A large parachute opened up behind it and the falling thing slowed, before-

Nya sighed in relief as Lloyd landed on the boat, abandoning steering it for a second as she ran forward to give her younger brother her hug. “FSM alive, Lloyd, couldn’t you have called me on the com link before literally dropping from the sky?”

“Harumi distracted me,” Lloyd said, squeezing her back just as tight. “And-”

His breath cut off, and he went silent for a couple of seconds. “And the others-”

He went quiet again, stepping back and shaking his head. Nya furrowed her eyebrows at her youngest brother. Something in his expression had changed since the last time she had seen him, which was less than an hour ago. He looked  _ pained _ , like something had happened in the brief time he hadn’t been with her. He didn’t appear to be hurt-at least any  _ more _ hurt than he had been-so something else had to be wrong.

Nya was about to open her mouth to ask him, when a dark shadow fell over the boat. Nya looked up and gasped-the Colossus had its foot raised above the boat, and it was bringing it down.

Nya grabbed Misako and jumped off the boat to the left. Lloyd went to the right. The Colossus snapped the boat in half a second after the three of them left it, water surging up and out of the canal from the sudden increase of mass inside of it.

For a couple of seconds, Nya just attempted to hide from the monstrosity as it looked at the ground. Despite how strong she may be-and she could take down any of her brothers in a straight fight-this thing was beyond her. Was beyond any of them. It was enough to make her swallow her pride and hide.

And then the Colossus turned away from her, and stared at Lloyd, who was still out in the open. Her breath caught in her throat as it raised its foot, and Lloyd-

Lloyd ran. She was able to relax, but only for a second. The Colossus started after Lloyd again, every step shaking the ground, hands the size of small buildings shoving aside every obstacle. Her breath caught in her throat, not just in fear for her little brother, but fear for the city as the screams of the people rang in her ears.

Stupid Garmdon. Stupid Harumi. Stupid Nya, for not stopping both of them the instant they showed their faces to her.

Stupid ninja, for not checking in when she called.

“KAI!” she yelled into the com link, voice filled with desperation. “The Colossus is going after Lloyd, and I have no idea how to stop it! Now would be a good time for you to get the Bounty in the air.”

Silence.

“Hello? Kai, Jay? Anyone?”

Silence.

Nya cursed viciously. Their com link was either broken, or something had happened to the Bounty. She wouldn’t have put it past Harumi to send the Sons of Garmadon after her brothers and boyfriend to slow them down.

So it was up to Nya to save Lloyd. Nya against the Colossus, any SoG members she ran into, Harumi, and maybe Lloyd himself if he continued his penchant of getting into trouble.

Not great odds. But Nya was hardly the type of person to surrender when things got difficult.

“Mrs. G,” she said, wheeling around to face Lloyd’s mother. “I’m going after Lloyd. If I’m not back here in the next hour, go to the nearest safehouse you can find. If you see any Sons of Garmadon, do the same thing.”

“But Nya, my son is-”

“I know, Mrs. G,” Nya said, feeling a small surge of irritation. “But he’s my family too. And I’m the only one equipped enough to get him back safely.”

Like any good mother, Misako was hesitant to leave her child behind. But she nodded, and Nya grabbed her spear from her back. “I’ll get him back, Mrs. G. I promise.”

Then she turned and ran. It was easy for her to clear the canal, and she ran down the same alleyway that Lloyd had. It was littered with rubble that she had to jump over, but it was slightly wider now due to the Colossus’ foot shaving a couple feet off the buildings on either side. 

Nya just hoped no one had been inside.

She followed the path of destruction for as long and as far as she could. The Colossus left a clear path of destruction wherever it went, and despite how slow moving it was, each and every step carried it another block. Already the noises of its destruction were fading into the distance, and no matter how much Nya forced herself to go faster, she could tell she wasn’t about to catch up anytime soon. Still, though, she wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. Her little brother’s life was on the line. 

Which was why she was particularly vicious with the first member of the Sons of Garmadon she came across. She saw the idiot coming at her with a knife from her side view, and easily blocked the blow with the spear. He was strong-strong enough to knock her off her feet ever so slightly. She stumbled, and from behind her heard a war cry from another member of Garmadon. She ducked his baseball bat just in time, and he tripped over her, all but sailing into a trash can. A third member came from another alleyway, brandishing a metal pipe.

She backed down the alleyway behind her carefully, making sure to keep an ear out for any other members behind her. The three she could see were approaching her, their previous wild charge forgotten as they apparently remembered that she wasn’t just any normal civilian, but one of the trained ninja they hated so much.

Nya growled as she was forced to back up into a clearing of some sort, looking for an easy way to attack one of the three without leaving herself vulnerable. Ordinarily she would have some water on her or nearby, but her spare water supply had broken during her fight with Garmadon, and she was nowhere near a water source. The few droplets remaining in her water pouch wouldn’t be enough to do any damage.

Fortunately for her, they clearly weren’t experienced enough fighters to know that they should attack as a group. The one brandishing a knife came at her first, and Nya was able to jab the butt of her spear into his head from a distance, knocking him out. The other two at least had the good sense to attack together, trying to circle around her, but all Nya had to do was sweep her spear around in a circle, hitting one with the sharp end and one with the blunt end. The one wielding a metal pipe collapsed immediately, her limp form sprawling across the ground, but the one with a baseball bat was still conscious. He ran at her again, bat ready in a wild swing, but she pointed the spear directly at him.

“Try it.” Her voice was dangerously low. “I promise you this fight won’t turn out how you want it to.”

The gang member looked at her. Then at the spear. Then at something behind her.

He turned and ran. Nya let her spear drop to her side and ran her hand over her forehead, wiping off the small amount of sweat that had accumulated there during the brief fight. She let the butt of her spear rest on the ground, and it clanked against wood-

Wood? 

Nya turned around to see the biggest pile of wood she had ever seen. It easily covered about half the clearing, broken fragments from whatever had been destroyed scattered all over the ground. There were other things than wood too-shredded fabrics, twisted and crushed metal, some electronics.

Where had it all come from? It didn’t look like a building had been destroyed by the Colossus, like Nya had initially thought. There was no stone, bricks, cement, or concrete. It was almost as if this gigantic mess had just dropped from the sky-

Nya noticed something. A relatively intact piece of metal, thin at one end and far wider at the other. In fact it looked like-

It looked like one of the engines on the Destiny’s Bounty. Nya would know, because she had spent years repairing that ship along with the others every time the Bounty had been damaged-which was more than a fair share of times.

If-if this was-

Kai had been on that ship. Her  _ brother _ had been on that ship. Her boyfriend too. Jay, Zane, and Cole-all of them-

The awful,  _ awful _ realization hit her all at once. Any and all thought of finding Lloyd, getting back to Misako, getting to a safehouse and finding the others left her head. Because-

Nya knew where the others were. And they were-

She couldn’t. She couldn’t think about it, she didn’t  _ want _ to think about it, it was too awful to even consider-

But it made sense. Nya hadn’t seen any sign of the Bounty in the sky-none of them had responded over the com-Lloyd-

Lloyd had known. He had wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t have known  _ how _ -

All of them were dead. Jay, Zane, Cole,  _ Kai _ -

As long as Nya could remember, she always had her brother by her side. Her dumb, arrogant, shortsighted brother. Her kind, supportive, incredibly  _ good _ brother. He had been there for her, even when their parents were taken away, even as money ran dry and bills piled up, even when she was a brat who didn’t get why he was such a hardass sometimes, who stayed up with her late at night and read her bedtime stories and tucked her in at night-

Her older brother was  _ dead _ . He was gone, he wouldn’t be able to do any of that for her anymore-he wouldn’t ever be around for her to tease, to laugh at their dumb little injokes, to catch her when she fell down.

And Nya could have handled that,  _ maybe _ , if it hadn’t been for the others too. Jay-her other half, the only person she had ever loved-Zane and Cole too-

Nya let out a choked out sob, covering her mouth a second later as tears started to spill down her cheeks. She  _ couldn’t _ be here-she didn’t  _ want _ to be here, it was all too much all of a sudden, the horrific silence in the city in the wake of Garmadon’s attack giving way to the rushing in her ears, the unsteady exhalations of air as she struggled to  _ breathe _ , the all-too-loud crunch of the dirt underneath her feet-

_ Oh god- _

She would make them  _ pay _ . She would  _ kill _ them, she would kill Garmadon and Harumi and Ultra Violet and Killow, and whoever else she could get her hands on-they would  _ regret _ ever touching her family. 

But that wouldn’t bring her family back. No matter how much pain Nya brought upon Harumi, on Garmadon, it wouldn’t bring them back.

For the first time in her life, Nya was alone. 

Nya sank to her knees, pressed her face into the ground, and  _ screamed _ .

\---

In the end, it was Lloyd who found her, not the other way around. She had remained at the site of the Bounty’s destruction-at the place where her family  _ died _ -until the sun began to rise in the morning. By that time she had screamed herself hoarse, throat aching from overuse and eyes rimmed red. She didn’t care enough to wipe the tears off her cheeks, or get to her feet, or do anything.

It’s hard to want to do anything when your entire world was broken in two.

Nya only noticed Lloyd when he sat down next to her. He didn’t say anything, but she could tell that he was looking at her. At her dirt-stained fingers, at her frazzled hair, at the bags under her eyes.

Eventually, she looked at him too. He was just as bad off as her, if not worse-there were bruises staining his skin under the small rips and tears in his uniform. He had obviously been crying as well, tear tracks cutting clear lines down the dirt on his face.

Neither of them said anything for quite a while. There was nothing much to say-their family was gone, at that was the end of it. They were the last ones left, separated from the others in a way that was final.

“Nya,” Lloyd said softly. “We have to go.”

She took another look at him. Lloyd’s lower lip was trembling violently, expression on the verge of breaking. It would be cruel to make him stay here for her.

But she couldn’t leave. Not yet. She wasn’t sure why, but she needed to stay. Leaving would-it would-

Nya didn’t know. But she couldn’t.

Lloyd shook her shoulder. “Nya.”

She bit her lip so hard she broke through the skin, the tangy taste of blood entering her mouth. “I can’t.”

Lloyd paused at that, but moved closer, resting his head on her shoulder. “We  _ have _ to, Nya.”

“I know,” Nya said, tears welling up in her eyes. “But I can’t. Not yet.”

Lloyd didn’t say anything after that. He just stayed there while she cried, a comforting and awful reminder that even if most of her family was gone, she still had her little brother.

But not the rest of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is… probably way too similar to The Ones Who Got Away. And it’s a bit late. But sue me.
> 
> Next up, Sickness with Cole suffering.


	6. Day 6- Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 13 gave me too many angsty ideas for me to NOT write at least one of them down. So here’s Cole suffering. This also could have been Day 1’s prompt, but I thought that it fit this prompt better.
> 
> TW: Sickness, vomit, blood, minor character death, grieving.

Cole remembered the day his mother died with crystal-clear clarity. Every single moment of that awful morning was seared into his memory.

His dad had been out, it had just been him and his mom at home. Some cartoon had been on-something simple enough for eight year old Cole to enjoy, but just good enough for his mom to also like. They had been curled up in bed together, his mom’s head resting on his shoulder. Cole had been excitedly yammering on about something or other, and his mom had been making occasional jokes about it. They had both seen it already (three times, actually), but that didn’t bother either of them.

Things had been good. Until his mom coughed slightly.

His mom coughing wasn’t uncommon. It hadn’t been for about a year now. It was a sign of her “progressing illness” or whatever the doctors called it.

Cole didn’t like it. It was a fairly nasty reminder that his mom didn’t have much time left. 

Still though, just coughing wasn’t all that alarming. Cole did what he always did when his mom coughed, and just handed her the water bottle they kept by the bed. His mom took it with ease, sipping at it with a kind of grace Cole was fairly sure he couldn’t muster if he was bedridden all day long.

She also coughed a bit when taking the sip, making water spill over the brim of the bottle, but it was a small cough. So it didn’t bother Cole. He just grabbed a couple of tissues and wiped it up.

What did bother him was the coughing fit his mom had a couple minutes later. He sat up abruptly, careful not to put any pressure on his chest. He had been scolded before by his dad for laying down on her or jumping to hug her in bed.

“You okay?” Cole asked, worried. Coughing fits weren’t…  _ unusual _ , per say, but that didn’t mean it was good. He was meant to call 911 if it lasted for a while, or if it looked like she was having trouble breathing.

Fortunately, it calmed down after a while. She gave him a small, weary smile. It was the smile of someone who was used to this. “Just fine, Cole.”

That was a bit of a lie. She was clearly not  _ fine _ , but she wasn’t doing badly either. A middle ground, like most days were.

Cole liked the days where she was in the middle. Good days gave him false hope that she was going to get better, and bad days made him think the end was coming all too soon.

He gave her the same tired smile, pressed play on the tv, and plopped down on the bed again. He also snuggled a bit closer to his mom, but neither of them said anything about that.

The next time she coughed was three episodes later. By that point Cole was just about ready to go to sleep on her shoulder, because rewatching a show you had already seen three times wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. 

“Y’ ‘kay?” he slurred into her shoulder, before immediately wincing at the quality of his speech and lifting his head up from her shoulder. 

“Ye-es, Cole,” his mom, coughing again in the middle of her sentence.

Cole arched an eyebrow at her. “You sure?”

She shoved him with her shoulder slightly, and he giggled. “Yes, silly.”

He shoved her back. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

Apparently, she was sure. And she didn’t cough again for a while, so Cole let himself be lulled into a false sense of security with her hand carding through his hair. It was easy to fall asleep on her shoulder when she was doing that. And especially when she was humming.

\---

Cole woke up to the sound of coughing. He didn’t register it at first, his brain preferring to think of it as an annoying noise that woke him up. The second he realized what it was, he all but jumped off the bed in shock.

His mom was coughing. But she wasn’t  _ just _ coughing-she was coughing up stuff, stuff that didn’t look good, some yellowy kind of substance. Her throat made an odd noise, and Cole realized she was choking.

Cole, despite his entire body and mind screaming at him to do  _ something _ , just froze in place. Him and his dad had been over what to do in this type of situation, but every single thing his dad had told him, every bit of information that could help his  _ mom _ , it all just went out of his head.

Then she choked again. Cole almost fell over in his haste to get to the other side of the bed to grab the phone, vaguely aware in the back of his head that if he called 911 they could help him. They could help his mom. 

He frantically dialed in the emergency hotline, fingers shaking so bad he missed the final 1 twice. When he finally did press all the numbers in, all it did was dial  _ uselessly _ for a couple of seconds. He was left helpless, just listening to his mom choke while no one helped him.

And when the person on the other end of the line finally picked up, he wasn’t even able to get out the generic “911, what is your emergency?” before Cole was yelling into the receiver.

“H-hello, my m-mom needs help-”

That was all he was able to say before his mom made the single most  _ awful _ noise Cole had ever heard. He dropped the phone in a desperate attempt to get to her side, rolling her over onto her side. His mom  _ retched _ , some mixture of blood and vomit escaping her mouth. Cole reeled back in terror, stomach turning violently from the  _ smell _ of it all.

And then he started screaming. Pleading. Doing anything he could think of to stop his mom from making that awful  _ noise _ and coughing up her own blood.

It didn’t work. For a while, at least. But she had gone still, eventually.

But not the  _ right _ type of still. Not the good type of still. Her eyes rolled back, she gave one last feeble gasp, and then her body went rigid.

At first Cole was glad the seizure or whatever it was had passed. But then he saw her eyes.

They were open. Blank. Listless. They weren’t focused on anything, weren’t moving, weren’t blinking, weren’t-

“M-mom?” Cole asked. “Are you alright?”

She didn’t respond. Her eyes remained as blank as ever. Her chest wasn’t rising or falling.

“Mom?”

No response.

“M-mommy?”

The silence was deafening.

\---

The police arrived fifteen minutes later. They had expected some kind of disturbance: domestic abuse, a fight, maybe a prank call. Instead, they had to drag Cole off of his mom’s body and call an ambulance.

The ambulance arrived a couple minutes later. They went in with a stretcher and came out with a dead body. Someone gave Cole a shock blanket and sat with him until his dad arrived. That person was trying to talk to Cole, to get some kind of information, but-

Cole’s ears were buzzing. He wasn’t really listening to anything. His mind just kept on going over what ifs. What if he had woken up a bit sooner? What if he had listened to the person on 911? What if he hadn’t rolled his mom on his side? Would water have helped? Would anything have helped? Was Cole just unlucky to be home with her? Was-

His dad’s presence was welcome by his side when he finally arrived. A warm, strong arm wrapped around Cole’s shivering body and pulled him in close.

They had to wait a while for the house to be cleaned by the emergency responders. By the time they were done, Cole was shivering under his blanket, cheeks flushed from the cold. He coughed a couple times from how chilly it was, and his dad tightened his arm around him every time Cole did.

His dad all but had to drag Cole back inside when all the people finally left. Cole was tired, and weak, and so cold he was stiff, but the reason he didn’t want to go back inside was fairly obvious.

His dad covered his eyes when they passed by mom’s room. Cole didn’t really get why-there was nothing in there now.

In the end, they ended up in the same bed for the night. Cole had crawled into his dad’s bed like a child much younger than him would do when they were scared, and before he had a chance to be embarrassed his dad pulled him into a tight hug. And Cole was warmer now that his dad was here, but he was still cold somehow, now that-

He did end up falling asleep at some point before dawn. He dreamt about his mom, though. It wasn’t a pleasant dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is two days late. But better late than never, I guess. 
> 
> Next up (in like a week or so when I can get my schedule together) is more Lloyd suffering. I will get it done, but it will be long. Very long.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that ended up… longer than I thought it would be. I doubt I’ll be able to hit every single day in angst week if I keep this pace up, but I will try to do it. And try hard.


End file.
